How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
