No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
