Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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