thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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