I cockslap morals
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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