i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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