oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
