Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
