Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
