Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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