if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
