I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize