even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
