I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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