She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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