Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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