I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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