my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Randomize
