But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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