I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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