Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
