1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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