How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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