just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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