Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
