Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
