Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
