The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
