East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
