If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
