how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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