It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
