No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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