Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
