I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
