It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
