i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
