I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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