Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize