I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
