Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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