and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize