I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize