Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
