Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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