Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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