you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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