he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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