Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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