did you get engaged???
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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