I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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