by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize