Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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