I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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