I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
