Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
