she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Randomize
