I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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