Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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