Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
