I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
