great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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