i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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