I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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