brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
