I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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