thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
