I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
