Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
