Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
