I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
