So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
