Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
