guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
