Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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